The great war is here. The living will battle the dead. The fate of the Seven Kingdoms will be declared. Fans of Game of Thrones will finally see who will sit on the Iron Throne. Will it be Jon Snow? Daenerys Targaryen? Will Cersei destroy King’s Landing with wildfire rather than give up her power? Or will the Night King kill them all? These topics should not be discussed on an empty stomach.
Game of Scones : all men must dine (a parody) is a highly creative cookbook that parodies characters, places and events from the series. It is written by “Jammy Lannister” who claims to have “…lost his right hand in a tragic accident involving spun sugar and went on to become the greatest left-handed whisker this side of the Narrow Sea.” It is divided into three categories which fans will immediately recognize as the show’s most pivotal quotes:
Easy: Why is it always the innocents that suffer most?
Medium: What is dead may never die; but rise again stronger
Hard: Valar Morghulis
Some recipes come right from the show, including Sansa’s Lemon Cakes and Hot Pie’s Wolf Bread. Others are character shaped cookies such as Tyrion’s Shortbread (complete with a jagged scar across the face.) Every recipe is cleverly written with theme related instructions.
The first step in the White Walker Walnut Whip recipe is to clear your work surface from any dragon glass and the last step is to let out a shrieking battle-cry to let your guests know tea is ready.
The Unsullied Soldiers are made without nuts. What else can you say?
My personal favourite: Oberyn’s Smashing Surprise. His head is made out of chocolate, which explodes into a red gooey mess when you press on the eyes. It is a good reminder that you shouldn’t get too cocky when fighting opponents twice your size.
The ‘piece de resistance,’ however is the Red Velvet Wedding Cake. Standing three layers high, it is topped with a miniature decapitation scene. It is a truly impressive cake to commemorate the murder of the Starks.
There is no better way to celebrate the final season of Game of Thrones then with recipes that represent the best parts of the series. Regardless who takes the Iron Throne, have no fear: dinner is coming.
— Lesley L.